Episode 14: A Monk’s Guide to Happiness

Hello and welcome to Episode 14 of Metamorphosis. Today, we’re exploring A Monk’s Guide To Happiness, written by Gelong Thubten with the underlying theme of meditation in the 21st century. A successful musician turned actor, living in a lovely New York apartment, wearing the most fashionable clothes and being the life of every party at the ripe age of 21 - Gelong was “living the life”, or was he?

“Very far from happy,” “burning myself out physically and mentally,” he was in a state of internal turmoil.

Months of being bedridden due to excessive living and extremely close calls with heart attacks, led to a life-changing, life-saving act from the star performer as he embarked upon a journey to a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Scotland to become a monk for a year. It did seem absurd at the time, but as the American entrepreneur Scott Belskey once said, “when 99% of people doubt your idea, you’re either gravely wrong or about to make history.” As a graduate in English Literature from the University of Oxford, history was as much a part of Gelong as it was his studies. Regardless of the doubters, it was clear that making history is what he was set out to achieve, and lessons from Gelong’s history are valuable pearls that can create a better future for us all. Therefore, let’s dive into A Monk’s Guide To Happiness. 

My first takeaway from Gelong’s guide is that “happiness is a skill we can learn; a product of mental training”. Living in an era where “feeling good” is the priority, the acceleration from one buzz to the next means we never fully arrive at happiness. We keep chasing the next dopamine high, where getting ready for the party is more exciting than the party itself and anticipating that first bite of the cake is better than experiencing it. This roadblock to true, sustained happiness is “a form of enslavement”, and the idea that “happiness, and suffering too, come to us from the outside” is a fundamental misunderstanding that prevents us from knowing and experiencing what happiness really is. 

“Happiness is freedom - we are completely in the present, with no urge to hang on to the past or ruminate about the future; we are right here in the moment, feeling complete.” With happiness being a mental experience, the inability of our minds to be free as “thoughts and emotions create a storm inside us” requires a remedy - “mastering our thoughts and emotions and embracing things just as they are”. One word? Meditation.

My second takeaway from A Monk’s Guide To Happiness is stated succinctly by the English poet William Wordsworth - “to begin, begin.”

“I would love to meditate but my mind is too busy” and the patience that meditation requires, along with several other myths and our fast-paced lives, can prevent us from ever getting started with meditation practices. Nonetheless, Gelong’s step by step approach, coupled with effective and short meditation exercises give each and every one of us the ability to slowly develop control over our mind - illuminating our path to long-lasting happiness. Similar to the constant rubbing of a soft rope being able to cause a groove in a very hard piece of rock, meditation has the power to, with each exercise, erode and transform the stubborn negativity of the mind. It is noteworthy to mention that the benefits of our meditation practice are not restricted to us alone; the ability of our meditation practice to significantly improve the world around us is where the real beauty lies, bringing us to the third and final takeaway. 

The final takeaway from this self-help masterpiece is that “compassion is the key to happiness”. “Compassion means to understand others’ pain, to cultivate the deep intention to help them, and then translate that into action”. Outlining the limitations of empathy alone, Gelong’s subsequent nuggets of wisdom provide useful training in the development of compassion. Meditation allows us to be compassionate and forgiving to our thoughts and emotions. Enabling ourselves to think and feel, free of judgement through compassion training, transforms us and our relationship with the world. As remembered at the beginning and end of each practice, a compassionate intention to bring ultimate happiness to others through meditation can help us achieve the goal that drives our every activity: happiness. 

As we give way to the end of this episode and the beginning of a mental transformation journey, here are a few words to live by:

“All suffering, without exception, is born from a mind which seeks happiness for oneself, whereas perfect, enduring happiness arises through a mind which seeks to benefit others”. 

Thank you for reading through this episode of Metamorphosis, catch you soon in the next!